Update: April 2012

It has been several months since our blog was updated with recent happenings. Many of you have kept up with our family through facebook, texts, calls and emails. It has meant a great deal to us as we have been going through trying times.

This previous October our precious baby boy, Leo David was born. 8 pounds and 4 ounces of precious, handsome baby! He is so sweet and good natured. He and his brother together bring me SO much joy! It cannot be expressed in words!

Soon after Leo's birth we started to realize something was different about him. He began having "no no" tremors. His little head would shake side to side constantly. We took him to a neurologist at Children's Mercy Hospital in Kansas City. He told us he believed he had a common condition called "Spasmus Nutans". If Leo did indeed have Spasmus Nutans, he would eventually grow out of it. Just to be sure the Dr had us schedule and MRI. On the 23rd of March Leo had his MRI. He did very well. I was more upset than he was. For the next few days we waited for results. Finally, we got the call. His results came back abnormal. Leo has Joubert Syndrome. It is a rare brain malformation. This means that he has an underdeveloped cerebellum, which is the area of the brain that controls balance and coordination. He will most likely need physical, occupational, and speech therapy. Based on his MRI and his milestone chart he may have a milder case. Unfortunately, we cannot determine how big of an impact this will have on his everyday life until he is a couple to several years old. As I have said many times before, Leo is still precious and perfect to us no matter the circumstance! We are so blessed to have him.

For more information about Spasmus Nutans look here:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002382/

For more information about Joubert Syndrome look here:

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/joubert/joubert.htm

Leo is now 5 months old. 16 pounds and 7 ounces. 25 inches long!

He is happy and healthy. Still just as sweet as ever!

After learning about Leo and taking that emotional blow it makes it rather challenging for me to make this next announcement.

Andy and I are getting a divorce.
This separation had been contemplated before the strains of Leo's condition hit us and has only been decided after all avenues had been exhausted. We are sad to feel that we may have let people down who have looked up to us, but we truly feel that this is the right thing for us.
I am so grateful for a supportive family! I am excited to be moving back to Wisconsin and living so close to their comfort.
We thank all those who have shown their support through this time and we pray for happy new beginnings.

Pregnancy update: Week 18

Wow! It's been 10 weeks since I gave you all a real good update about our newest baby Bestor. A lot has happened already and we are getting really excited.

Things have been moving quickly - much quicker than they seemed with Jet. My belly has been growing so quickly and I only fit into one pair of pants and two pairs of shorts (with the rubber band trick - ladies, you know what I'm talking about!). I dread the day I have to retire those size 3's and invest in maternity clothes, which is probably soon!

Around 12 weeks I started to feel the little "flutters" of quickening. I was so excited to know what was coming in the next few weeks. 4 weeks later (16 weeks pregnant) I finally felt the first real kick. Sorry, I mean KICKS. I was sitting at the computer just as I am now and I felt a little poke in my lower right side. I thought about it for a minute, but brushed it off as gas or something. Then when it happened two more times in a row, each time harder than the first, I knew it was the baby. I just looked down at my belly and smiled to myself. "This is the BEST." I thought.

The baby has been very active ever since. Way more than Jet was at this stage. To my surprise it wasn't even a week later we could actually see and feel the baby kicking on the outside of my belly. There have been nights where Andy has fallen asleep with his hand on my belly feeling the baby kick the night away. Jet is having a blast! I don't have to ask him to come feel the baby. Sometimes I will be standing in the kitchen doing the dishes and he will lift up my shirt to expose my belly and say "Hello Bee!(baby)". One of the cutest moments yet was when Jet put his cheek on my belly to "give the baby a kiss" and the baby kicked his cheek. Jet was shocked! But he thought it was hilarious!

My latest Dr appointment was eventful. I had an appointment for the next week, but I had to get in THAT day because I passed out after I had showered and I opened my eyes to Jet standing over me crying "Maa!". My blood pressure was extremely low and I was very low in iron. While they were doing my blood work, I passed out again. They had to give me crackers and and apple juice while they kept an eye on my blood pressure. That took about a half hour and then they took more blood and did a second urinalysis. Let's just say I was pretty exhausted after that, but it wasn't over.

The Dr was listening to the baby's heartbeat with the doppler and got a funny look on his face. He asked me "Did you write anything on your medical history form about a family history of heart defects or problems?" I said "Well yes, of course. My husband's father past away at 37 from an undetected heart defect." The Dr immediately called into to schedule me an ultrasound with a specialist about an hour away to get a really good look at the heart. I was pretty upset about it, but he explained that something just didn't sit right with him. Something seemed a little abnormal, but most likely the baby is fine. He just wants to take precaution and get a series of ultrasounds done. I have yet to hear when my appointment is. Of course with military you have to go through paper work and referrals before you can get anything extensive done.

I know things will be ok. And if I have any doubts I just have to sit still for a moment to feel the baby roll around and give me a reassuring kick.

Here are my cravings lately. Pretty silly huh! Thank goodness it's payday. I'm going grocery shopping ;)

Pregnancy update: Week 8

A lot of people have been saying to me "well that didn't take long!" when they find out we're expecting again. To be honest, we were just as surprised.

Like I said in my previous post, Andy arrived home the 16th of January. I found out I was pregnant February 25th. I was already 4 weeks along. If you do the math, that means Andy was only home 2 1/2 weeks before this eggo was prego! Crazy! What's even crazier is...I was on birth control!

The whole 2 weeks leading up to the 25th I just felt pregnant. I was so tired all the time and I swear I went up two bra sizes. I decided to test at home and all 3 tests came back negative. So I made an appointment to switch birth control pills and get them filled. Well, that didn't exactly go as planned. The doctor had me take a blood test to make sure I really wasn't pregnant and come to find out about an hour later she walks in and says with raised eyebrows "It's positive..". She didn't know if that was okay that she was saying that! (Hahaha!) She wasn't sure if I wanted to be pregnant. I wasn't sure either, but I guess I didn't have a choice now! Instead of coming home with more birth control pills, I came home with prenatal vitamins!

I had no idea how I was going to tell Andy! But I did know I didn't want to make it obvious. When I got home and walked into the house he of course asked "how'd it go?" and all I could think to do was to throw him the bottle of prenatal vitamins. He caught them as I said "The doctor told me to take these.". He sighted the word "prenatal" and knew exactly what was going on. He was less than thrilled to be perfectly honest, but it had a lot to do with shock. He eventually did start to get excited after he made me take 2 home pregnancy tests, which were of course positive and he downloaded a pregnancy app on his iPhone.

(sorry the picture is blurry)

I wasn't expecting to get an ultrasound earlier this week, but because of complications earlier on (everything is fine) they wanted to make sure baby was growing properly. He/she definitely was! The heartbeat was strong and it's little arms and legs were squirming away! It almost looked like it was dancing. I'm in love already!

This pregnancy so far has been totally different from my pregnancy with Jet. First of all, as you can tell, I am "showing" a lot sooner. In the picture above I am 8 weeks 6 days and I didn't look that pregnant until about 11-12 weeks last time.

Morning sickness kicked in earlier, harder, and longer than it did with Jet. I'm still suffering with it all day.

I hate food so much. I will/can only eat things I feel like eating at that very moment. If it takes to long to get it or I think about eating it the next day, nope - not happening. I gag with just the thought. With Jet I ate and ate and ate.

Those are just the few foods I could eat on a day to day basis. Maybe even all day. Infact, I think I'm going to have a salad now. Mmmm!

It's Been Awhile..

Andy is home!
It's been almost 2 full years of living without him and now we are finally together under the same roof!

Andy received his PCS orders to Fort Leavenworth, KS in October and I began the long and grueling process of a military move. After piles of paperwork and packing I got in the car and drove out to Kansas (making a quick stop in WI for Christmas) and moved into our new home.

Andy arrived here soon after. It was a long wait, but so worth it! Jet was a little shy at first, but he warmed up of course. Andy was given leave to get things situated at home before he went to work on post, so we took advantage and took a little trip back to IA and WI to see his family. He hadn't seen them for an entire year!

After our trip we were able to settle down and get used to this new life. That is until...

...we found out I'M PREGNANT!

I guess 2 months was all it took. It was definatly a shock and there was some denial, but now we are so excited! And of course I'm hoping for a baby girl this time!

I'm so excited for Jet to be a big brother! At least once a day he will come up to me and point at my tummy and say "Oh BeeBeee".

God has truely blessed us.

Hello, Goodbye..My life as an Army wife.

Before our son Jet was born, Andy and I had talked about the military. I'll never forget the day he came home with an inch thick packet and bunch of notes he had taken about the Army. The benefits were attractive, but I still was uneasy knowing our family could be separated so easily. For a few months we put off the decision and just prepared for the baby to come, but as soon as Jet was in Andy's arms he knew he needed to do something to provide for his new little family. He enlisted a month later and received the news he would be shipped to basic training in Fort Knox on August 10th. So just a day short of a month after we were married, I drove Andy to Milwaukee and said goodbye to him for the next 3 months - at least. I remember shaking so badly. I got Jet out of his carseat and handed him to Andy. "Say goodbye to your son.." I said to him. He took his boy in his arms and walked to the edge of the parking garage looking over the city. I stayed by the car and cried. Andy just rocked Jet and didn't say a word. I can't imagine how he was feeling at that moment. A few minutes later Andy came back to the car, handed Jet back to me, looked me straight in the face and said "I love you so much. You be strong and I will be too. This is going to make our lives and our future so much better.". He kissed me and I watched him walk away until I couldn't see him anymore. It was then, when I was all alone in the parking garage with a 3 month old baby that I realized - I'm an Army wife.

This was the last picture we took together before he left. Every Army wife will remember the first time they had to say goodbye to their soldier. This was my first and certainly not my last time!

The drive home was worse than the drive there. It was around 10:30 when I finally got back into Beaver Dam and I didn't want to go home to an empty apartment just yet. Everyone in Beaver Dam knows that if there's nothing else to do - you go to Walmart. (It's a small town) Right next to Walmart was the Army Career Center where Andy was recruited. Even though I knew no one was in there at that time of night, I wanted to bust in the doors and scream at the men who convinced my husband to join. I sat in the parking lot for about an hour. Silly I know, but I honestly had no idea what to do with myself. I ended up going home and as soon as I walked through the door I fell to my knees and asked for help from the only person who could help me, God.

It was just me and Jet for the next several months. He kept me sane. He kept me going. He kept me motivated. And eventually when Andy and I were able to write each other that was another huge boost of motivation. 3:06 was the happiest time of the day - when the mail came. The mailman became my bestfriend and on the days he didn't come with a letter from Andy he was my worst enemy. I wrote Andy every day. For awhile I didn't even know if he was receiving my letters, because I never got any back. Soon enough he did write back and updated me with all the events that had passed and what obsticles he still had ahead. I sent him pictures of our growing boy and of course filled pages and pages with words of gratitude for all he was doing for us. We wrote little questionaires for each other and counted down the days until when we would be able to see each other again. At the beginning of October I got to see my new soldier husband for the first time in his basic training picture that he sent to me along with an invitation to his graduation on the 23rd. It didn't come fast enough.

Just a day away until we left for Kentucky to see Andy. We made it through the first separation. I didn't make it alone. I had help along the way. I just want to take this opportunity now to thank my family for helping me and supporting me, as well as two beautiful girls. My best friends. I couldn't have made it through without you.

Finally! October 23rd, 2009 I got to see my husband again. I watched Andy march into the ceremony with his platoon. He wasn't a kid anymore. He was a MAN. The ceremony ended and families were able to go onto the floor and find their soldiers. I pushed through the crowd and caught sight of Andy. I ran into his arms. Finally! For the next 6 hours he was mine!

Once again, after the day was over we had to say goodbye. This time wasn't any easier than the first. AIT (advanced individual training) for Andy, back to Beaver Dam for me and Jet. Soon enough He would be home for Christmas. Only two months this time. And things got easier as we were able to talk on the phone more often. Andy's MOS (military occupation specialty) is a 31E also known as an Internment/Resettlement Specialist. At AIT he trained in combatives, individual weapons, detainee operations and etc. Pretty soon he started getting the hang of this "Army" stuff - it was obvious after he shot expert for the 9mm and m16! Another proud moment - and they keep coming. About half way into AIT Andy called me one night very upset. Of course I asked, what was wrong. He paused and then he got right to the point. "I'm going to Cuba." he said blankly. I just kept saying "no...no...no!". It was hard to accept. We knew it was a possibility from the beginning, but we were made to believe by several sources that he most likely wouldn't be. Of course we did eventually come to terms with the fact. Never has the phrase "One day at a time" been so overused in my life.

December 16th I sat in the terminal in the Milwaukee airport. I got a special pass to meet my soldier at the gate. I got there an hour early. Bad idea! I got so anxious I had to call a friend to call me down. All of the sudden a plane started pulling up to the gate. I jumped to my feet. People started crowding down the hall. I couldn't see Andy anywhere. Soon less and less people where getting off the plane. I was beginning to worry I was at the wrong gate, but then I caught a unmistakable color of his ACU's. He caught sight of me. I ran to him and he dropped his bags. Oh how I love that first embrace. People were watching and some even started clapping. I felt like I was in a movie! I looked at my sweet husband and touched his face. "It's really you! Not just a picture!" I said to him. We got stopped every 5 feet by people wanting to shake Andy's hand and thank him for his service. He deserved every bit of attention. Christmas was wonderful. I got everything I wanted. New Years eve was wonderful also, but it was bittersweet knowing Andy would be leaving the day after.

January 2nd and another goodbye. We kissed goodbye right in front of security. Andy was late getting on his plane so he had to leave in a hurry. He didn't look back. Once again I was left there alone. The tears definatly came. This time it would be 6 months at the least until I would see him again. I broke down. A lady that saw what had happened came up to me and shook my hand. She was crying too. "I just wanted to let you know, that I've never seen anything sweeter than what I just saw with you and your husband." She said. "And I just wanted to thank you for your family's sacrifice for our country. God bless you." I will never forget her kindness and encouragement. Thank you whoever you are.

Hello, Goodbye, Hello, Goodbye, Hello, Goodbye...To you those are simple words. To me they are the story of my life. I wouldn't change a thing. I'll be waiting until our next hello and I'll still be here after our 100th goodbye. I love you Andy.



Forever.

He's a growin' boy!

The last time I blogged about Jet he was about a month old! Now he is 13 months old! He is growing up to look even more like his daddy. He is still the sweetest, happiest baby. He is my pride and joy!

THEN

NOW A lot of people predicted Jet's hair would get darker and that his eyes would turn brown. Well, obviously they were far off! Jet still has beautiful bright red hair and crystal blue eyes. People that I don't even know stop me in the store all the time, just to let me know how beautiful they think Jet is. Jet loves the attention. He is such a flirt. I've taught him to tilt his head to the side and smile when I say "be cute!". He has the cutest little dimple on one cheek. They always die for that.

Jet is such a boy! He loves to be outside. He loves the grass the dirt and especially the bugs! If he catches sight of any kind of bug he laughs and claps his hands. Jet loves cars. He thinks everything is a car. He will take his shoes, the remote, his sippy cup or a block and "drive" them around the carpet making "vroom vroom" noises. He also loves airplanes. He has a bunch of little toy airplanes and he will run around the house holding them in the air. Jet's bedroom is done with an airplane/car theme. He loves to play with his toys!

Jet has Andy's laugh. To hear them laugh at the same time is like hearing an echo. They make the same facial expressions and have similar mannerisms. Sometimes I look at Jet and see Andy shining through so clearly it darn near breaks my heart. It is so adorable.

See the similarity? Haha!

Jet has a very special toy that mommy got for him the day he said his first word ("dog"). It is a cute stuffed dog he likes to call "Dog-Dog". He can't sleep without it. He carries it all over the house. He hugs it so tight. He trys to feed it food and give it his sippy cup. He is his constant companion while he watches his favorite show - Little Bear on Disney Channel. He has just recently been ok with Dog-Dog waiting in the car while we go into the store. I'm hoping he grows out of this attatchment eventually, but for now I think it is absolutely adorable!

Jet loves stories and songs. At least once a day I sit Jet on my lap, sing him songs and read him stories. As soon as he is sitting on my lap he claps his hands and sings. He knows exactly what time it is. His favorites are "Patty Cake", "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Old Mcdonald". Jet is so sweet! But of course, he's got his naughty side. He gets into everything! He knows how to undo the childproof locks and get into the cupboards. His favorite is the pantry. The other day I caught him after he dumped out a whole box of cereal. He managed to shove a few handfuls into his mouth before I got to him. I know he seems like a handful at times, but I know I will look back and see these days as the simple times.

Jet is my precious baby boy. I love him so much. Words cannot describe. I love being a mommy. Everyday he brings me joy, makes me laugh and sometimes he makes me cry. It is hard knowing my sweet husband is missing out on a happiness he barely got to know before he left. He is working hard to provide the best future for his son. He loves him very much. Although Jet hasn't been around his daddy to connect with him, he knows who he is. He knows something is missing. Soon I'll have both of my boys. What a happy day that will be!